Javier Arenas vs LSU 2007

This feels like we just lost a conference game.

How do you give up a 2 -0 half time lead?

Don't tell my parents but I have drank an entire bottler of wine in the past thirty minutes.

What this reminds me of is Javier Arenas running back a punt against LSU. That is one of the best moments in my Alabama football history that I experianced.

But I can never watch the highlight without feeling depressed.

Landon Donovan controlled a ball to his left, moving the Brazilian defender into a state of worthlessness, and left footed it into the net sending me into a Natty Light enduced euphoria.

I will never be able to watch this highlight without the urge to vomit, just like Javy in 2007.

Right now?

I want to run down the burn victim ward at DCH (Tuscaloosa hospital) screaming "There is no God!".

I will never be able to experiance the happinness I felt with the Donovan shot or the Arenas returen again, because any memory of happiness will be filled with the urge to commit seppuku/

I will now list how it feels to lose a Confed cup final/ SEC conference game

Slam dick in car door

Fall down mountain of salt covered broken beer bottles

Forced to eat herpes outbreak vagina

Shove head into wood chipper

Jump feet first into wood chipper

Stick penis into electical wall outlet

Forced to watch SEC championship 2008 with commercials replaced with Tim Tebow post game Ole Miss speech

Stuck in pitch black room with nothing but "Rocky Top" playing for days

Forced to sit throught entire Twilight movie

Masterbation with hand covered in sand paper

Forced to watch 2005 Iron Bowl Brodie Croyle sack highlights.

Anally abused by AIDS positive hobo

Forced to watch every episode of "College Football Live Notre Dame Week"

Force fed Arby's chicken biscuits while Chick Fil-A biscuits are presented in front of me.